


Of Cold Hands and Warm Hearts

by NicePumpkinSpice



Series: Of Sweet Memories and Guarded Moments [74]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 06:15:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5406110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicePumpkinSpice/pseuds/NicePumpkinSpice





	Of Cold Hands and Warm Hearts

As much as Evelyn didn’t want to wait any longer, the elements conspired against her and Cullen making love in the glen. The wind picked up with a bone-chilling vengeance, and it began to snow. 

“For crying out loud!” Evelyn vented as she shivered in the cold. Her best warming spells made the weather _almost_ bearable with their heavy coats and gloves, but it was clear they wouldn’t be _frolicking_. Saddling up their horses before the weather got worse, Evelyn offered for Cullen to spend the night with her once they got back to Skyhold.

“You have no idea how much I want that,” Cullen had said as he cupped her rear and ghosted his lips along her forehead. “But I promised Norah that I’d take Graham these next few nights since she’ll have to manage on her own while we are in Halamshiral.”

Evelyn sighed. She loved Graham. He was a terrific little boy, but he definitely got in the way sometimes. “Well, later then,” she said trying to sound upbeat when she wanted to throw a tantrum. _Over a year with no sex. We’re both finally ready, and now this happens,_ she thought as she gritted her teeth and tightened her horse’s girth. _Patience is a virtue, Evelyn,_ she recited to herself. _Maker take it all - I’m tired of waiting, damn it!_ as she struggled to bridle her horse and screeched in aggravation.

Cullen came over and helped her get the bit in the horse’s mouth before wrapping his arms around her. “Look, I’m frustrated, too. It’s a few days until we leave for the Exalted Council. We’ve made it this long.”

Evelyn nodded and accepted a leg up as she got on her horse. _We’ve made it this long..._

The horses were eager to get back to the warmth of the barn and Evelyn wasn’t stopping to pick flowers, so they were making good time on the return trip to Skyhold when Cullen noticed something was off. Evelyn was holding the reins in just her right hand while she had her left hand balled in a tight fist and pressed to her chest. While Fereldans often rode using only one hand to steer their mounts, chevaliers tended to use two unless engaged in combat. In either case when using only a single hand, they typically held the reins in their left hands keeping their sword hands free.

“Is your hand hurting?” he asked.

“The anchor has been more painful lately,” she admitted. “I don’t know why. It isn’t as if there are any rifts nearby.”

“Maybe you should have someone look at it,” Cullen suggested.

“Cullen, I have. I’ve had our healers and mages examine it. Even Dagna took a shot at settling it down. The only person that ever understood how the magic worked was Solas. Good luck finding him,” Evelyn said bitterly. The elven mage had disappeared with barely a goodbye after Corypheus had been defeated, and the Inquisition had searched for him in vain for the past two years.

Cullen knitted his brow. “I’ll see if I can find anything in my templar manuals. Have you written to Cassandra?”

Evelyn groaned and gave Cullen a weary look. “Yes, I’ve written to Cassandra... and before you ask, I’ve also contacted Dorian and Hawke. I even wrote Vivienne if that gives you an idea how desperate I’ve gotten. Nobody has a clue. The only suggestion I get is _Find Solas_ as if that’s any help.”

“Have you tried discharging it? Maybe since you’re fighting less often and closing fewer rifts, it has built up magical energies.” Cullen offered.

“I got the bright idea to try that last night when I couldn’t rest because of the pain. Let’s just say that’s _not_ the solution. Look, it’s been bad before and settled down. I’m sure it will go back to being only mildly annoying soon,” Evelyn commented to cut off the conversation. She didn’t like talking about the anchor or its magic. She didn’t like unknowns. Neither did Cullen, but he knew when Evelyn was done speaking about something - and the mark definitely fell in that category.

************************

Two days before they were to leave for the Exalted Council, Evelyn took a break from preparing speeches with Josephine and went to visit Cullen in his office. As soon as she entered the room, she got a bad feeling. Cullen was throwing daggers at a practice dummy - something he rarely did unless absolutely irate.

“Is something wrong?” she asked.

Cullen threw two daggers in quick succession. Both landed squarely in the center of the dummy’s chest. Cullen stalked over and pulled them out before answering, “I just had a conversation with Corporal Baker. He feels like the Inquisition is likely to see a reduction in forces and has taken a position in _Kirkwall’s_ city guard.” Cullen said _Kirkwall_ in a venomous drawl as he readied himself to throw again.

“And you’re upset because you’re worried he’s right? That we’ll be forced to disband or pare down our numbers because of the Exalted Council?” Evelyn guessed.

Cullen glanced at her. “No, even if we don’t disband, we are likely to need fewer feet on the ground in the upcoming years. It’s intelligent for him to take a good position closer to his family when it became available.”

“So ... I’m not following why you’re trying to murder that practice dummy,” Evelyn replied.

“I’m talking about Corporal Baker... Corporal _Jason_ Baker... Norah’s boyfriend, Ev,” Cullen explained with a hint of annoyance.

“And he’s leaving Norah for the new job... ,” Evelyn gasped. She was heartbroken on Norah’s behalf. Norah was head over heals for the young soldier.

Cullen growled, “I wish. No, he plans to go to Kirkwall, get established, and then send for Norah. He intends to ask her to marry him before he leaves and wanted to give me the _courtesy_ of letting me know beforehand.” Cullen chucked the knife particularly hard as he said _courtesy_ and the dagger stuck in the dummy’s groin.

“But what about Graham?” Evelyn asked.

“He’d go with his mother,” Cullen answered as he turned toward Evelyn looking completely broken.

“You know the Captain of the Guard in Kirkwall. Write to her. Tell her not to hire him,” Evelyn suggested as she walked across the room toward him.

“No, Baker is a good soldier, a good man, Ev. I won’t do that to him,” Cullen said as he collapsed into his chair and put his head in his hands.

“Why Kirkwall, though? Why not somewhere closer?” Evelyn questioned.

“He and Norah both grew up there. That’s what drew them together in the first place - homesickness,” Cullen replied without bothering to look up. “It makes sense ... move closer to their friends and family to start a life together. It’s just...”

“It’s just Graham needs his father, too,” Evelyn argued as she drew closer to Cullen who buried his head against her stomach and clung to her as his shoulders shook.

“I don’t know what to do,” he finally admitted without letting go of her. “You’re here. My job is here. But Graham will be ... Maker, how can one mistake mess so many things up?” he raged.

“We’ll figure something out. You can split your time between Kirkwall and Skyhold. We have forces in the Free Marches. Their Commander needs to oversee them, too. It won’t be easy, but we’ll think of something,” Evelyn encouraged. 

Cullen sat back in his chair and looked earnestly at Evelyn. “I can’t be a part-time general, and I don’t want to be a part-time father. My men deserve better. Graham deserves better. Jason is a good man. Maybe I should just step out of the picture. Graham is young enough he won’t remember me.”

“Absolutely not!” Evelyn shouted. “Take it from someone who knows - children that are left by their parents don’t just forget it."

Cullen looked chastened by her words. “I don’t want to do that. I just can’t see how to make this work.”

“Haven’t you been the one lecturing me about how families are messy sometimes but you keep trying anyway?” Evelyn questioned her voice still loud and angry.

“Yes, but...” Cullen protested.

“But nothing. You make it work, Commander. That’s an order,” Evelyn said while stomping her foot for emphasis. “If you can kick lyrium addiction and defeat Corypheus’ army, you can handle this.” Then softening her tone, she added, “I’ll help however I can. And I don’t want you worrying about me leaving you over whatever you have to do to make it work. You’re stuck with me - like it or not.” 

“Alright,” he said in the same voice he’d used when he’d agreed to keep fighting lyrium addiction at her urging. He looked at her with a mixture of love and awe for a few seconds before starting to smirk. “I know better than to try and cross you,” he teased as he pulled her into his lap and held her close.


End file.
